How you experience the time apart from your lover or partner can be as telling for your personal growth as the time you spend together.

The first mistake many couples make is never spending time apart. Instead of two incredibly unique, passionate and driven humans, you become a homogenous grouping known as a relationship. You have lost or diluted much of what makes you so special as an individual, and ironically, much of what your partner found so attractive about you.

It’s so easy to spend every possible hour of the day together. It’s comforting to turn to them in any moment and say “let’s just stay in and watch a movie.” But what happens when that becomes the norm? What happens when you don’t have a weekend away with your friends separate from your partner? What happens when you trade too much of your time that used to be dedicated to your passion, purpose, and flow for doing every daily task of life with your partner?

This is where resentment seeps in and you lose sight of your unique gifts. Typically sexual attraction slowly erodes as one partner feels like the caregiver to the other. What started as deep conversation moves to small talk and then becomes bickering.

What if your partner or the person you are dating is not OK with you taking time for yourself or going away with friends? Then, it’s one of two things; they are codependent OR they don’t trust or like what you are doing while away. In either case, it’s important to immediately address this issue or you will both end up feeling like the relationship is a prison.

Many times all a relationship needs is to BREATHE. It needs to be infused with your magical individual energy and talent. It needs a healthy dose of what made this thing spark from the beginning. So don’t smother your partner and don’t drown yourself in your relationship. Talk about and take conscious and healthy time apart.