Jealousy can be the ultimate poison to relationships. It can also be the most valuable tool for personal and relationship growth. Here’s how to own your jealousy before it owns you and destroys your relationship.

1. Accept your jealousy as a natural emotion. It is normal to experience jealousy. Do not try to banish it.

2. Address your experience of this valuable emotion. Look at your reaction – yelling, being passive aggressive, violence, or breaking up with the partner you love on the spot. Do any of these actions serve the higher good if you want to be in a relationship with someone? No. Stop reacting in ways that don’t serve you!

3. Pause…breathe…take space if you need. You’ve got to do the work to know what it feels like when jealousy sets in and create a response that isn’t going to be something you regret.

4. Communicate your jealousy in a clear way that states facts, not your interpretations. Non Violent Communication (NVC) is a helpful tool here. Here’s an example: “When you spoke to Jessica for an hour at the party, I felt jealous, because you have been traveling all week. I want to hear about your trip and share my week with you because it creates intimacy and connection for our relationship. What do you think?

5. Practice this consciously as early and often as your jealousy comes up within you.

Bonus Tip: Don’t forget to check in with your heart based on your partner’s response to your communication. If your partner is ignoring your emotions or doesn’t agree with any of your requests, it’s your responsibility to decide if this relationship is right for you.

To go deeper into owning your jealousy, click the link in my bio to schedule a free call with me to discuss my 3-Day Jealousy and Insecurity Virtual Bootcamp.